The Awesome Sarah Black

Did you know this about Sarah? …

Sarah Black is the only woman to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Sarah Black can unscramble an egg and unswirl a marble pound cake.

Sarah Black can start a campfire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Sarah Black destroyed the Periodic Table, because she only recognizes the element of delight.

Sarah Black can delete a computer’s Recycling Bin.

When Sarah Black goes whale-watching, the whales pod-up and watch her.

Sarah Black’s computer has no “backspace” button; Sarah Black doesn’t make mistakes.

Sarah Black never predicted the Higgs-Boson particle. The Higgs-Boson predicted Sarah  Black.

Sarah Black can build a snowman out of rain.

When Sarah Black went into a maze… the maze realized how hopeless it was to try and confuse her and turned itself into a runway.

Sarah Black and Superman once had an evil-fighting contest. The loser had to start wearing their underwear outside their pants.

Sarah Black has a grizzly bear carpet in her living room. The bear isn’t dead; it just wisely keeps deciding not to move.

When Sarah Black appeared on Jeopardy, Watson answered in the form of an answer.

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Sarah Black stories.

Sarah Black died 20 years ago; Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell her yet.

Love of spiders is arachnophilia, love of tight spaces is claustropholia, love of Sarah Black is called Wisdom.

Sarah Black won American Idol using only sign language.

Sarah Black won the World Series of Poker using Pokémon cards.

Once a cop pulled Sarah over…the cop was lucky to leave with only a warning.

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Sarah Black.

Some magicians can walk on water, Sarah Black can swim through land.

Sarah Black can cut through a hot knife with butter.

Sarah Black is the reason Waldo keeps getting lost.

Sarah Black once counted to infinity – twice.

Sarah Black can slam a revolving door.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks under his bed for Sarah Black.

Sarah Black can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Sarah Black once accidentally kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as Giraffes.

Sarah Black can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Sarah Black has designed and granted life to.

Sarah Black doesn’t wear a watch. SHE decides what time it is.

Sarah Black doesn’t call a wrong number; you just answer the wrong phone.

The only time Sarah Black was wrong was once when she thought she made a mistake.

When Sarah Black goes on a picnic, the ants bring her food.

Sarah Black doesn’t turn on the lights, he turns off the dark.

Contrary to popular belief, Sarah Black cannot fly. She just jumps and simply decides when she wants to come down.

Sarah Black met an exclamation point and got all up in its face. And now we have question marks.

Sarah Black can speak Hebrew… in Chinese.

Unstoppable force meeting an immovable object? Sarah Black clapping.

Sarah Black can make a Happy Meal cry.

Sarah Black once appeared on Wheel of Fortune. The last twenty-nine minutes were spent in awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.

It was after Ray Kurzweil met Sarah that he had the “Aha” Experience: The Singularity Is Really Near!

Death once had a near-Sarah experience.

There is no “Ctrl” button on Sarah Black’s computer. Sarah Black is beyond control.

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