The Awesome Amanda Brady

Did you know this about Ms. Amanda? …

Amanda Brady is the only woman to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Amanda Brady can unscramble an egg and unswirl a marble pound cake.

 Amanda Brady can start a campfire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Amanda Brady destroyed the Periodic Table, because she only recognizes the element of delight.

Amanda Brady can delete a computer’s Recycling Bin.

When Amanda Brady goes whale-watching, the whales pod-up and watch her.

Amanda Brady’s computer has no “backspace” button; Amanda Brady doesn’t make mistakes.

Amanda Brady never predicted the Higgs-Boson particle. The Higgs-Boson predicted Amanda Brady.

Amanda Brady can build a snowman out of rain.

When Amanda Brady went into a maze… the maze realized how hopeless it was to try and confuse her and turned itself into a runway.

Amanda Brady and Superman once had an evil-fighting contest. The loser had to start wearing their underwear outside their pants.

Amanda Brady has a grizzly bear carpet in her living room. The bear isn’t dead; it just wisely keeps deciding not to move.

When Amanda Brady appeared on Jeopardy, Watson answered in the form of an answer.

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Amanda Brady stories.

Amanda Brady died 20 years ago; Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell her yet.

Love of spiders is arachnophilia, love of tight spaces is claustropholia, love of Amanda Brady is called Wisdom.

Amanda Brady won American Idol using only sign language.

Amanda Brady won the World Series of Poker using Pokémon cards.

Once a cop pulled Amanda over…the cop was lucky to leave with only a warning.

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Amanda Brady.

Some magicians can walk on water, Amanda Brady can swim through land.

Amanda Brady can cut through a hot knife with butter.

Amanda Brady is the reason Waldo keeps getting lost.

Amanda Brady once counted to infinity – twice.

Amanda Brady can slam a revolving door.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks under his bed for Amanda Brady.

Amanda Brady can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Amanda Brady once accidentally kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as Giraffes.

Amanda Brady can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Amanda Brady has designed and granted life to.

Amanda Brady doesn’t wear a watch. SHE decides what time it is.

Amanda Brady doesn’t call a wrong number; you just answer the wrong phone.

The only time Amanda Brady was wrong was once when she thought she made a mistake.

When Amanda Brady goes on a picnic, the ants bring her food.

Amanda Brady doesn’t turn on the lights, he turns off the dark.

Contrary to popular belief, Amanda Brady cannot fly. She just jumps and simply decides when she wants to come down.

Amanda Brady met an exclamation point and got all up in its face. And now we now have question marks.

Amanda Brady can speak Hebrew… in Chinese.

Unstoppable force meeting an immovable object? Amanda Brady clapping.

Amanda Brady can make a Happy Meal cry.

Amanda Brady once appeared on Wheel of Fortune. The last twenty-nine minutes were spent in awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.

Death once had a near-Amanda experience.

There is no “Ctrl” button on Amanda Brady’s computer. Amanda Brady is beyond control.

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