The Benefits of Support

Who benefits from support? In fact, those who give support may benefit even more than those who receive it. In one study, recruited non-professionals with multiple sclerosis were trained in active listening and taught to provide support to sixty-seven other people with multiple sclerosis over a two-year period.

The peer supporters were paid ten dollars an hour to provide telephone support for fifteen minutes a month throughout the two-year study.The peer supporters were recruited through several means. Some had volunteered to participate in a pilot group and were selected because they demonstrated an ability to communicate with others in the group and were willing to commit to a two-year effort. The Massachusetts chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society recommended others because they were helpful in volunteer activities.

Image result for older woman on cell phonePeer supporters completed a questionnaire before beginning to give support, and again after one and two years of providing support. The sixty-seven participants who received support also completed questionnaires at the same intervals. Three years after they finished providing active support, the peer telephone supporters were queried about the changes they noticed over the course of their participation in the study. In this follow-up evaluation, the peer supporters reported improvement in more areas as compared to improvements experienced by the patients who received the support. They reported improved listening skills, a stronger awareness of the existence of a higher power, increased self-acceptance, and enhanced self-confidence.

Peer supporters also reported experiencing a sense of inner peace that allowed them to listen to others without judgment or interference. Interestingly, these aspects of well-being accelerated during the second year of the study. As the supporters became more effective and more outer-directed, a shift occurred in the way they thought about themselves.

Participants who received support exhibited change in a number of these areas as well, but the changes were less pronounced than those experienced by the people who provided the support.

What brought about these positive changes for people giving support to others? The authors of the study propose that these shifts occurred because of the number of personal stories the peer supporters exchanged with the people they supported. As they heard more and more stories of other people with multiple sclerosis facing challenges, the supporters were able to disengage from their usual ways of thinking about themselves and their condition. In other words, as their focus moved from concern about themselves to concern for others, their attitudes about their own multiple sclerosis altered as well. As one supporter commented: “It’s tough to get depressed, because you’re helping someone.” Another supporter explained the change this way: “There’s a quietness when I’m talking to someone, and I’m really listening to them. I have to make an effort not to try and top them. It’s gotten easier. And I can listen, and I become interested in what he’s talking about. That’s a change. There’s a quietness in the soul because of it.”

Schwartz, C. E. and Sendor, M. (1999). Helping others helps oneself: Response shift effects in peer support. Social Science & Medicine, 48, No. 11, 1563-1575. In King, J. C. (2004). Cellular wisdom: Decoding the body’s secret language. (204-205). Berkeley, CA: Celestial Arts.

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The Eardrums of the Heart

When I was a little bitty kiddy, about five, my Dad began a process … anytime somebody came and said something to us, my dad would say, “You remember what he said, honey girl?” I would tell my father what the person said until I got so good at it that I could repeat verbatim even long presentations of what the person had said.

And he did this all the time.

Image result for lawn mowingFinally, one day there was this old gentleman, Richard Thompson. I still remember his name. He lived across the street, and every time my Dad started to mow the lawn, there came Mr. Thompson. And so I would stand out there.

Dad says, “You might come and listen to this man, honey girl. He’s pretty interesting.” And so I listened to him, and then my dad would say, “What did you hear him say?” And I would tell him.

 Well, eventually I was repeating all the stories he liked to share with my dad verbatim.  

I knew them all by heart.

And my Dad says, “You’re getting pretty good at that. But did you hear his heart?” And I thought, what? So I went around for days with my ear to people’s chest trying to hear their hearts.

Image result for old andlonelyFinally, my Dad created another learning situation for me by asking my mother to read an article from the newspaper. He says “Well, I guess if you want to understand that article, you have to read between the lines.”

I thought, “Oh, read between the lines. Hear between the words.”

So, the next time I listened to Mr. Thompson’s stories, I tried to listen between the words. My Dad said, “I know you know his story, but did you hear his heart?”

And I said, “Yes. He is very lonely and comes and shares his memories with you again and again because he’s asking you to keep him company in his memories.”

It just came out of me. In other words, my heart echoed his heart.

And when you can listen at that level, then you can hear not only the people. If you really pay attention, you can hear what the Universe is saying.

                  ~ Paula Underwood, clan mother of the Turtle clan, Iroquois nation 

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Garden Sanctuary

Garden Sanctuary

Brand New Mobile 6′ x 8’

“Roll It Into the Back Yard and Plug It In!”

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All new construction. 115 amp electric camper outlet.
New Lock. Cedar exterior. Interior Unfinished.
Mounted on four 8” hard rubber wheels.

Emergency Garden Storage

Fill with any number of these provisions:  

Emergency Preparation Kit

Other Possible Uses:

Writing Room
Stress Relief Sanctuary
Steam Room
Time-Out Haven
Personal Yoga Studio
Rentable Storage Unit
Sensory Dep Chamber
Mobile Spare Bedroom
Detached Home Office
Kid-Free Hideout
Tool Shed
Chicken Coop
Homeless Shelter
Artist’s Studio
Potting Studio
Prayer Pod
Dog house
Teen’s Sanctuary
Kid’s Playhouse
AirBNB Rental
Sleeping Pod
Lover’s Hideaway
Music Studio

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IMG_0442 (1).JPGIMG_0444.JPG

  Dimensions:

10 Feet Across the Front Roof
120” Front Height from the Ground
102″ Side Eave to Eave
44” x 50” Wheel Centers
Weight: @ 2200#

 

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Survivalist Sanctuary

Survivalist Sanctuary

Brand New Mobile 6′ x 8’

“Roll It Into the Back Yard and Plug It In!”

IMG_0453.JPG

All new construction. 115 amp electric camper outlet.
New Lock. Cedar exterior. Interior Unfinished.
Mounted on four 8” hard rubber wheels.

 

Survivalist Storage

Imagine: it’s early on a cold weekday morning. The Apocalypse is upon us. But you and your family are fully prepared. You have this locked storehouse filled with any number of these provisions:  

Emergency Preparation Kit

Other Possible Uses:

Writing Room
Stress Relief Sanctuary
Steam Room
Time-Out Haven
Personal Yoga Studio
Rentable Storage Unit
Sensory Dep Chamber
Mobile Spare Bedroom
Detached Home Office
Kid-Free Hideout
Tool Shed
Chicken Coop
Homeless Shelter
Artist’s Studio
Potting Studio
Prayer Pod
Dog house
Teen’s Sanctuary
Kid’s Playhouse
AirBNB Rental
Sleeping Pod
Lover’s Hideaway
Music Studio

IMG_0439.JPG

IMG_0442 (1).JPGIMG_0444.JPG

  Dimensions:

10 Feet Across the Front Roof
120” Front Height from the Ground
102″ Side Eave to Eave
44” x 50” Wheel Centers
Weight: @ 2200#

 

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Finding Safety

Great discussion by some very wise young women …

Finding Safety

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Survivalist Sanctuary

Brand New Mobile 6′ x 8’

“Roll It Into the Back Yard and Plug It In!”

IMG_0453.JPG

All new construction. 115 amp electric camper outlet.
New Lock. Cedar exterior. Interior Unfinished.
Mounted on four 8” hard rubber wheels.

$3995
% to Drewslist

FOB Langley, Washington (Whidbey Island)
(This means buyer pays for shipping)
(Scotty’s Towing has safely delivered previous versions for $150).

Email: MurielHastings@mac.com

Survivalist Storage

Imagine: it’s early on a cold weekday morning. The Apocalypse is upon us. But you and your family are fully prepared. You have this locked storehouse filled with any number of these provisions:  

Emergency Preparation Kit

Other Possible Uses:

Writing Room
Stress Relief Sanctuary
Steam Room
Time-Out Haven
Personal Yoga Studio
Rentable Storage Unit
Sensory Dep Chamber
Mobile Spare Bedroom
Detached Home Office
Kid-Free Hideout
Tool Shed
Chicken Coop
Homeless Shelter
Artist’s Studio
Potting Studio
Prayer Pod
Dog house
Teen’s Sanctuary
Kid’s Playhouse
AirBNB Rental
Sleeping Pod
Lover’s Hideaway
Music Studio

IMG_0439.JPG

IMG_0442 (1).JPGIMG_0444.JPG

  Dimensions:

10 Feet Across the Front Roof
120” Front Height from the Ground
102″ Side Eave to Eave
44” x 50” Wheel Centers
Weight: @ 2200#

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The Science of Social Safety

science social safety flyer for worpress pro bono

The Science of Social Safety

How many of our choices, perceptions and reactions does human biology run outside our conscious awareness? Many neuroscientists claim – for better or worse – as much as 98% of them. In this juicy, live, mixed-media, hour-long online presentation (one-on-one & in small groups), I’ll be inviting you to take a compassionate look at which parts of our biology run us unconsciously and self-protectively and which parts don’t. Reframing complex biology into simple, everyday language, you will come away equipped with a number of unique tools and personal insights. This new learning will show you how to address the root causes of learning difficulties, depression, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, Cell Danger Response and social isolation and allow for mindfully choosing between expansive, safe connection or the limiting effects of self-protection.

For registration information, click HERE.

 

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